As I sit in one of my favorite cafes in Chiang Rai trying to get some work done (it’s called Woodbrick and has an unhealthy number of matcha drinks available for me to try), I have this urge to purge my thoughts into something tangible. So here I go!
I’ve been having such vivid dreams in the recent weeks, and it’s like my mind anticipates some major changes coming my way. I also experienced this in the few weeks leading up to me leaving for Thailand. A part of me is sad that the majority of people I’ve been exploring with this past semester are leaving, but I’m looking forward to the new teachers coming next semester, new semester activities and the new places I will be visiting!
It has been nearly 5 months since I left home. 150 days to be exact! It literally brings me to tears thinking about how much has happened since then. Every relationship formed, all the fantastic food eaten, the beautiful landscapes and places visited, and the valuable knowledge gained. I love life and have grown to love it even more since coming to Thailand. A part of me craves the normal routine I had back home and the familiarity of the people surrounding me, but this experience has me wanting more of the unknown.
We all seek fulfillment out of life. In the last 150 days, I’ve experienced this sense of fulfillment at random moments doing such ordinary things here. When I do gate duty at school and I wai to all of the students arriving, I can’t help but just smile and be genuinely happy. Don’t get me wrong, it sucks waking up earlier on these mornings but once I’m physically there, it’s endearing to see one of my students and share a smile and a moment with them. I have always been a pretty positive and upbeat person, but I’ve been trying to improve and be more mindful about my mindset. There are times when I feel beaten down by not being familiar with this culture and feel helpless, especially with teaching here. In the first couple of months, I would just stay in a rut and distract myself, but now I’ve grown to be more resilient and would try to embrace the learning opportunity.
Oh! I’ve also realized I enjoy vlogging much more than I originally anticipated. The amount of positive feedback I’ve gotten has made my heart so full. I can’t wait to look back on these little nuggets of moments later on in life. I never thought I was a creative person, but I like exploring this side more and expressing myself through vlogging. Expect more vlogs in the future!
To all those back home, I miss you all! Seeing updates on social media used to give me a bit of FOMO, but now I am sincerely happy to see everyone living such awesome lives and definitely sending love back from this side of the world!